Confession

i confess that i was a bit moved when the guy i left sent me this message:

if i'll die tomorrow, u know what i'll do? i'd spend 23 hours with u. u may ask and think about the last hour. u know what? i'd spend it looking for a person who will love u the way i do.

it's been quite some time since the day i left him. i know that the message may be cheesy or corny to some, but i do feel his sincerity. i love another guy now and i do not regret leaving the guy who sent this message. he hasn't seen my worth and i spent so much time acting like a fool, chasing after him and trying to fix something that can never be fixed.

the night before he sent me that message, we were joking at each other about silly things after the battle of the bands. it was fun but it will never bring back what we used to have. i know he still has feelings for me. it may not be as intense, as deep as before, yet there's still something.

i hope he'll find the right girl for him. when that time comes, i wish he would treasure her and see her worth; listen to what she says rather than what others say; give her what he failed to give me; and be the best that he can be.

Lost

Nafufrustrate ako. Honestly, I want to cry. Second week of school pa lang and yet super tambak na ako sa trabaho. Busy na sa SG tapos ang dami pang kailangan sa academics at special subjects. Nahihirapan na nga ako eh.

Sa bahay pa, siyempre mag-aalaga pa kay Baby. Halos ako pa ‘yung nag-aasikaso kay Joshua kasi may sakit na naman si sister. Gumaling na siya, tapos ngayon may sakit na naman. Hindi ko naman siya masisi. Sino bang gusting magkasakit ‘di ba?

Tapos nawawalan na ako ng time for Mark. At least ‘yung mga friends ko nakakasama ko pa ‘pag break time. Eh si Mark hindi na. I badly want to make it up to him. Kung pwede lang, sana mas may oras akong natititra pa para sa kanya, kaso wala na. Ni hindi na nga ako makatext, makatawag o makapag-ym man lang.

Nilalamon na ako ng pressure at frustrations.

For goodness sake, give me a break.

I want to cry.

Going Away

nalulungkot aq. pramis. nalulungkot tlga aq. nging inactive aq sa fu xe bc and it was getting a little 2 crowded. wla n aqng kakilala, lalo n nung umalis c dess at ate anne. o.p aq. so many tyms i tried 2 clik d leave group button pro d q gnawa.

give it tym. bka mkhnap k rn ng new set of frndz s grup.

n2ng bkxion, nging active aq ult dhl s emoterasz. ang saia tlga grbe. sabog kmi lge kht n ndi p nman kmi gnun kclose, mejo p lng. nung cnbi sakin ni eu eu ung blta nya, nkkdpress tlga.

jaz wen u found d rison 2 stay, u get another rison 2 go away.

gs2 q umiyak. nluluha n nga aq hbng ngchchat kmi s ym ni eu eu eh. nung ni-pm dn aq ni era, gnun dn. hwevr, i prtnded dat it ws ok. aftr ol, nklala nla aq bilang pnakasabog, lgeng masaia, loka loka. auq pkta n mlngkot aq.

ndi nman cla mwwla. mai ftalk p rn, txt txt, ym, e2, bsahan ng blog pro ib p rn ung mgkksma kau.

nkklngkot tlga.

argh.

gudnesz.

i want 2 cry.

:(

Ancients

Friendstertalk University

First things first. I am sooooo glad that the ancients and the other original members are back.

--DESS
Odessa, I love this gal. Yeah, she’s always a drama queen when it comes to me (but I’m more melodramatic in my opinion :lol:), saying I don’t love her, yet I really do. Uhuh, this lady is more than just a pretty face. She’s a great friend. She’s tons of fun and contrast to my first impression (of being “mataray”), she’s really sweet and totally lovable. She handles our group really well (probably a born-leader for FU) and although some says she’s strict, it’s okay. I mean everything she does is for the sake of the group (and for the sake of her image :lol: just kidding Dess). I missed you a lot Gaga. Shongaks missed you a lot.

--MJD
Kwek-kwek, perpsz. I never had a real conversation with her. We always cracked some jokes and so often I would laugh at her craziness. However, there was one time which really struck me. It was when I was really down and my love life was a mess. I asked for help in FU and she was the first one who responded. For the first time in my stay in FU, I witnessed how Kwek transformed (superhero??? :P) No kidding guys. She became serious and gave me advice, which worked well actually. That was our last conversation before she left FU. Now that you’re back Kwek, I’d like to know you more :D

--AMANDA
Ate Anne, is one of my earliest friends in FU. I remembered telling her once in FS that I’d like to leave FU because I was OP and I think it was getting a bit crowded. She was the one who told me not to leave and I’m glad I didn’t. When I went back, I just noticed that they removed a lot of members (good thing I wasn’t one of them). It turned out, they had the same opinion as mine and decided to remove inactive members. Wee, welcome back Ate Anne! My one and only Ate. =)

--DAIXEE
Daisz.Daisz left the group to Eu-Eu when I was inactive for a week I think. Daisz, I remembered her because of our siggy campaign: daiz + baby corn = epic love story (Cute, right? :D). Anyway, she’s one of the sweetest and friendliest members in FU. She never fails to acknowledge someone’s presence. What I also like about her is that she’s thoughtful and remembers almost all of the members’ names in FU. I heart you Sisz Daisz :wow:

...to be continued :D

1 2 3 4

Plain White T's - 1 2 3 4
Lyrics:
give me more lovin then i've ever had.
make it all better when i'm feelin sad.
tell me that i'm special even when i know i'm not.
make me feel good when i hurt so bad.
barely gettin mad,
im so glad i found you.
i love bein around you.
you make it easy,
as easy as 1 2,(1 2 3 4.)
theres only one thing two do three words four you.
i love you.
(i love you)
theres only one way two say those three words
and that's what i'll do.
i love you.
(i love you)
give me more lovin from the very start.
piece me back together when i fall apart.
tell me things you never even tell your closest friends.
make me feel good when i hurt so bad.
best that i've had.
im so glad that i found you.
i love bein around you.
you make it easy as easy as 1 2,(1 2 3 4.)
theres only one thing two do three words four you.
i love you.
(i love you)
theres only one way two say those three words
and that's what i'll do.
i love you.i love you
(i love you)
you make it easy, its easy as 1234
theres only one thing two do three words four you i love you
(i love you)
theres only one way two say those three words
thats what ill do i love you
(i love you)
i love you i love you.
one two three four i love you.
(iloveyou)
i love you
(i love you)

Negative lalalalala

wala naman talaga akong itatype. kng anu-ano na lang siguro.

---gudbye rev-up, hello sg tasks
yup. the review for college exams is done but i still need to report to school because of sg. medyo demanding kasi president na ako (naman. ang bilis. parang dati lang, lowest rank ako sa sg, nagyong presidente na ako.) and despite having three-year experience in this organization, i still have to learn a lot of things (tulad na lang ng pag-handle ng pera. sa tagal ko sa sg, ayoko talaga ng pera kaya never ako natuto. buti na lang may experience na si akira sa pagiging treasurer... pero pinag-aaralan ko pa rin. i might need it).

--college worries
simula ng makuha ko yung upcat form ko, super worried na ako for college. yung requirements, inaayos ko na agad. may goolai, gusto ko talaga mag-ateneo kaso ang layo ng quezon city. pinakamalapit na pwede kong pasukan sa manila is la salle - taft. i'm thinking of ust since forte nila ang arts and letters and doon iikot yung gusto kong course pero medyo malayo din. independent pa ako ngayon kasi busy sa new baby si mommy, college na si sis and laging nasa work si daddy.

--new baby brother
as of may9, 2009, 6:16pm, justin zephan was born. yes, our baby brother is finally out and thank god okay na yung blood incompatibility problem niya. i really love this baby and super alaga kami sa kanya. full force kaya. as in.

--senior pressure
bakaxion pa lang, ginagather ko na lahat ng artifacts ko for graduation. i know, ang aga pa pero pinaplano ko na yung portfolio na ipapasa ko. gusto ko makakuha ng award. although may automatic award na ako since president ako this year, it's not enough. i want to earn an award that i worked hard for, as in out of all students na nag-apply for the same award, ako yung nakakuha nun. so far, intrapersonal, interpersonal and linguistic are my target m.i awards. plus ung computer awards and the exemplary conduct. ang dami di ba? apply lang yan, hindi naman sure na makukuha ko lahat yan. ilusyonada, haha.

--learning to love... math
hindi ako makakasurvive ng senior year at hindi ako makakapasa ng entrance exams kung lagi akong magagalit sa math. sa totoo lang kaya kong maging outstanding kundi lang talaga dahil sa math. ayan, gabi-gabi akong nagaaral sa math bago matulog. i am really really really serious about this.

--nltsgo vs. john maxwell's leadership summit
sa june23, may leadership summit si john maxwell. kung leader ka, businessman, reader, religious man at kung anu-anong chorvaloo chorvaness pa, kilala mo siya for sure. he's holding a one-day leadership talk kaso up 5o% lang ang sponsor ng sg so if ever na sasama ako, i need another 5oo pesos which i think i cannot get. tight sa budget ngayon and ayoko magsabi kina mommy at daddy. kung pwede lang, i'll take it as a birthday gift tutal jun2o bday ko na, pero hindi ko pa rin masabi. plus may nltsgo in which we'll be spending almost 25oo. magastos din yun pero gusto ko sumama. gusto ko talaga. nevertheless, i'm aware sa gastos namin ngayon sa i don't want to demand a lot.

--heart failure
i have symptoms of heart murmurs. kapag lumala, heart failure na. eto pang isang bagay na hindi ko masabi kay mommy eh. since last time kami lang ng ate ko yung nagpacheck up, hindi narinig ni mommy yung sinabi ni doc. it's not like she's scaring me yet she asked me to take care of myself dahil nga sa sakit na yon. ouch. so sad.

haixt. dami ko na pa lang iniicp ngaun, ndi q mailabas. isang malaking tenchu s blog na 2 kundi wla aqng outlet.

The Person of the Past

Pakialamera. Pakialamera. Pakialamera. Aian 2loi, kng anu-anong nbsa. Sheesh. Naluluha aq, cgro s an2k o bka dhl s nbsa q.

Wla xeng mgwa s buhai keia knalkal q ung fs ni Mark. Alm q, kslanan q. Kng ndi aq nkialam edi wla aqng mbbsa. Itx not as if mali ni Mark n mai msgs ni Tricia s trash ng fs nya. Aq nga ndi ndi bsta bsta nagddlete eh.

Wah, wla aqng mxbe kundi pakialamera.

Aian, knukumpara q 2loi ung srili q s knya. Argh, xiemaysz. Hndi nman ngkulang c Mark s assurance n mhal nya aq pro bkjt gni2 p aq.

Gr8. Jaz Gr8. This is what happens wen u poke ur nose into othe people's past.

:[